ADD Wins Another One

My work productivity has been up in the last few weeks, if not in quantity, certainly in quality. I've been on time submitting my transcription (until two days ago) and I've been on time and mentally present in the office job. All good, because that's the work that pays. So the blog has suffered, because ADD just had to surface somewhere since OCD was having so much fun on the clock.

I think my particular manifestation of OCD is more mental than physical. I have rarely exhibited the common signs of checking the stove multiple times, going through the house, and other rituals. On the other hand, my mind frequently runs in circles (yes, I know this is also a feature of ADD) and I tend to do a great deal of my living in my own head. I truly see myself being some pitiful little old spinster with a highly involved romantic life with some innocent man who hasn't a clue. I can only hope that my house will be at least clean, if possibly full of doilies, rather than too many cats.

There's a quote that's going around Facebook that goes something along the lines of "It is unwise to treat someone as a priority when they only treat you as an option." I'm not sure how I feel about this sentiment in light of what Christ has taught us to do, which is to focus on others, and perhaps that is valid enough, but I find in my own life that I am no one's priority (with the exception of my sweet parents), but should this mean that I do not prioritize others in my life? Obviously not. I do know that it's probably meant more in terms of romantic relationships or friendships, but even so, I would think that it would be a dangerous thing to follow closely. If we only invested in relationships which gave us good and immediate dividends, I am not sure we would be following God's call.

In my own case, because I am essentially a lonely little person, I try to look to God for a lot of my emotional needs, and thus am able to give to others. I am well aware to a therapist this probably would not look quite right or healthy, since I am invested far more in my side of friendships than my friends are. I don't see what alternative I have, however, besides pulling back to equal them, and what would that gain me? More loneliness and isolation, I suspect, and I know from experience that that's definitely not a good thing, because OCD tends to rear her ugly little head, and Satan tends to move on in with his negative comments.

At least ADD is helpful in dispelling a lot of the problem with this arrangement, because honestly, she tends to forget that others don't call her, ask her out, or hang out with her so much. And honestly, I have grown to prefer her company instead of old grumpy OCD who tends to remind me that others don't call me, ask me out, or hang out with me so much. I mean, thanks for making me feel better for most of my life, OCD. Get thee behind me. I'd rather be happy than right.